I'm offering advice

Meow. I've decided to provide you humans with a service. It's for the great good of cats everywhere. I'm going to give you some tips on dealing with a cat. Meow

1. Cats are independent. I know you want to cuddle us and call us pretty names, but sometimes we just need to be left alone.

2. Feed us well. I can't stress this enough people. If we don't eat good food, we get pissy. Oh, by the way, fish is THE BEST!!!

3. Give us attention (at the right times). We love to play with toys and chase things around. If you tie a toy mouse to your leg and run around the house, we'll go nuts.

4. Groom us regularly. I hate getting knots in my fur. There's nothing like trying to lick out a big clump of fur....yucky.

5. Love us. This is the most important. If you don't give us love, we won't give it back. Sure, we may chase, claw and bite, but it's all in fun (most of the time). Love us forever and you'll be so very happy.

Meow. I think I'm going to do this kind of thing on a regular basis. I feel good when I can provide a public service. Look for more of these columns in the coming weeks. I may even start charging for them...a cat's gotta buy the good stuff, like "nip". Meow.