Meow. I had some surgery last night. Yeah, it wasn't fun. I spent the night in a shitty place full of other cats and dogs. It smelled funny in there. I'm home now, and ever so happy. I'm still in some pain, so they gave the humans some liquid to shove in my mouth. Yum...can't wait.
I'm sorry I haven't written lately. There's nothing good to talk about these days.
I'm trying something new with this thing. I'm going post pics of other cats and rate their appearance. Look for that soon...
Until then,
Moto
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Meow
My nails are growing soooo long. I end up walking on them now. It annoys the hell out of my humans, and that's the fun of it....hee hee.
Ooh. Did I mention they finally got it right and got me fish flavored food? It's soooo tasty...mmm...yum.
So now the humans have a water bottle that they squirt me with everytime I scratch something...ugh...what's the point? I'm going to keep doing it no matter what. Like I care if a little water gets on me.
Oh, guess what? The stupid male dropped some light bulbs tonight. Yeah, he smashed them all over the dining room floor. I tried to investigate closer, but got yelled at for my efforts. Sheesh. I think I can be careful and not step on any. I'm not a dumb cat ya know. Meow.
Mmm...I have to poop. More later.
Ooh. Did I mention they finally got it right and got me fish flavored food? It's soooo tasty...mmm...yum.
So now the humans have a water bottle that they squirt me with everytime I scratch something...ugh...what's the point? I'm going to keep doing it no matter what. Like I care if a little water gets on me.
Oh, guess what? The stupid male dropped some light bulbs tonight. Yeah, he smashed them all over the dining room floor. I tried to investigate closer, but got yelled at for my efforts. Sheesh. I think I can be careful and not step on any. I'm not a dumb cat ya know. Meow.
Mmm...I have to poop. More later.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
I'm offering advice
Meow. I've decided to provide you humans with a service. It's for the great good of cats everywhere. I'm going to give you some tips on dealing with a cat. Meow
1. Cats are independent. I know you want to cuddle us and call us pretty names, but sometimes we just need to be left alone.
2. Feed us well. I can't stress this enough people. If we don't eat good food, we get pissy. Oh, by the way, fish is THE BEST!!!
3. Give us attention (at the right times). We love to play with toys and chase things around. If you tie a toy mouse to your leg and run around the house, we'll go nuts.
4. Groom us regularly. I hate getting knots in my fur. There's nothing like trying to lick out a big clump of fur....yucky.
5. Love us. This is the most important. If you don't give us love, we won't give it back. Sure, we may chase, claw and bite, but it's all in fun (most of the time). Love us forever and you'll be so very happy.
Meow. I think I'm going to do this kind of thing on a regular basis. I feel good when I can provide a public service. Look for more of these columns in the coming weeks. I may even start charging for them...a cat's gotta buy the good stuff, like "nip". Meow.
1. Cats are independent. I know you want to cuddle us and call us pretty names, but sometimes we just need to be left alone.
2. Feed us well. I can't stress this enough people. If we don't eat good food, we get pissy. Oh, by the way, fish is THE BEST!!!
3. Give us attention (at the right times). We love to play with toys and chase things around. If you tie a toy mouse to your leg and run around the house, we'll go nuts.
4. Groom us regularly. I hate getting knots in my fur. There's nothing like trying to lick out a big clump of fur....yucky.
5. Love us. This is the most important. If you don't give us love, we won't give it back. Sure, we may chase, claw and bite, but it's all in fun (most of the time). Love us forever and you'll be so very happy.
Meow. I think I'm going to do this kind of thing on a regular basis. I feel good when I can provide a public service. Look for more of these columns in the coming weeks. I may even start charging for them...a cat's gotta buy the good stuff, like "nip". Meow.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Day 234
The humans finally got it right. I get my fish flavored cat food! Yesssss! Meow, meow.
They bought a new chair that I love to scratch. I really don't find anything wrong with that. It's fun to dig my claws in deep and rip that fabric apart. I don't know why they yell at me about it. They like to scratch things too.
I've been super lazy lately. It feels so good to sleep for five straight hours. I love it. Meow.
I still hear the human male talk about putting little devil horns on me for halloween. I'm not sure what sick satisfaction he'll get from that. I'll just bite him when he tries to put them on...hee hee...meow.
Hmm...my butt is tingling. I'm going to run and take a poopie...er, I mean crap.
They bought a new chair that I love to scratch. I really don't find anything wrong with that. It's fun to dig my claws in deep and rip that fabric apart. I don't know why they yell at me about it. They like to scratch things too.
I've been super lazy lately. It feels so good to sleep for five straight hours. I love it. Meow.
I still hear the human male talk about putting little devil horns on me for halloween. I'm not sure what sick satisfaction he'll get from that. I'll just bite him when he tries to put them on...hee hee...meow.
Hmm...my butt is tingling. I'm going to run and take a poopie...er, I mean crap.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Meow - Day 225
Meow. I've been pretty lazy lately, so that's why I haven't been writing. Meow. But hey, that's the life of a kitty cat.
*Sigh* So much to tell you. Ha ha. Yeah right! I don't do squat. I just lay around all day and lick myself. Bet you wish you could lick yourself, don't you? C'mon...admit it!
So, I've been trying to escape out the garage door lately when the humans come home. No such luck. They always catch me right before I sneak through. Dang. All I wanna do is explore the garage. It smells sooo good out there. Don't know what it is. Perhaps the garbage.
The human male put a new ceiling fan up this weekend. It makes me dizzy. I heard them talking about attaching a toy to it so it would spin around and make me go nuts. Bastards. Don't they know I could hurt myself? Meow.
Argh. I can't think of much more to write. I'm sooo sleepy. I'm going to go eat some more crappy food.
*Sigh* So much to tell you. Ha ha. Yeah right! I don't do squat. I just lay around all day and lick myself. Bet you wish you could lick yourself, don't you? C'mon...admit it!
So, I've been trying to escape out the garage door lately when the humans come home. No such luck. They always catch me right before I sneak through. Dang. All I wanna do is explore the garage. It smells sooo good out there. Don't know what it is. Perhaps the garbage.
The human male put a new ceiling fan up this weekend. It makes me dizzy. I heard them talking about attaching a toy to it so it would spin around and make me go nuts. Bastards. Don't they know I could hurt myself? Meow.
Argh. I can't think of much more to write. I'm sooo sleepy. I'm going to go eat some more crappy food.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Day 216
Hi. Meow. Sorry I haven't posted in 3 days. I was trapped in the bathroom. No, seriously, I haven't had any good thoughts lately.
My owners caught me on top of a table again. I mean really, how big a deal is that? I'm not hurting anything. I'm just curious...but then again, curiosity killed me...ha ha ha.
I had an amazing crap today. It felt soooo good. It was a big one too. Yeah, I'm proud of it.
Oh, I clawed a bunch of shit today. Yeah, it's fun. The humans keep scolding me for it, but I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon. It's amusing to me to see them get all pissed off. I'm an evil cat...hee hee.
I overheard them talking about dressing me up for this halloween thing. The male wants to put horns on me...like that would make scary than I already am. The female wants to put a dress and wig on me. Oh hell, I'm outta here tomorrow.
More later, after my next poopie.
My owners caught me on top of a table again. I mean really, how big a deal is that? I'm not hurting anything. I'm just curious...but then again, curiosity killed me...ha ha ha.
I had an amazing crap today. It felt soooo good. It was a big one too. Yeah, I'm proud of it.
Oh, I clawed a bunch of shit today. Yeah, it's fun. The humans keep scolding me for it, but I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon. It's amusing to me to see them get all pissed off. I'm an evil cat...hee hee.
I overheard them talking about dressing me up for this halloween thing. The male wants to put horns on me...like that would make scary than I already am. The female wants to put a dress and wig on me. Oh hell, I'm outta here tomorrow.
More later, after my next poopie.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
213
Meow. Sorry I missed my entry yesterday. I was hung over from a party I had. The humans don't know about it yet...hee hee...I mean, meow meow.
Two other human females came to visit me today. I attacked one of them. She seemed to be enjoying it. Hmm. I wish my owners would play with me. I'm not bitter or anything, but they better pay more attention to me or I'll scratch their....eh, nevermind. Meow.
One of my owners, we shall call her J, was picking me up and making funny noises. "Come here kitty witty", she said. *Sigh*. I guess I'll put up with it for now. I mean really, I don't pick her up and say "come here human wooman".
I had a thought today. Life is pretty good. I mean, I sit around all day doing nothing. Sometimes I lick my crotch for fun...don't know why, but it keeps me amused. Sometimes I'll mess stuff up just to piss off the humans. I love taking things and hiding them. Meow.
Apparently they bought me some new food tonight. I'll eat it to be polite, but sheesh, is it too hard to get FISH flavored? Do I really have to do this myself? I swear I'll go to the store and get some...just give me the keys to the crapmobile.
Heading down to the dark, cold basement to take a poo. I just love it there. No, really, it's great. I love bumping into shit and nearly knocking myself senseless.
Two other human females came to visit me today. I attacked one of them. She seemed to be enjoying it. Hmm. I wish my owners would play with me. I'm not bitter or anything, but they better pay more attention to me or I'll scratch their....eh, nevermind. Meow.
One of my owners, we shall call her J, was picking me up and making funny noises. "Come here kitty witty", she said. *Sigh*. I guess I'll put up with it for now. I mean really, I don't pick her up and say "come here human wooman".
I had a thought today. Life is pretty good. I mean, I sit around all day doing nothing. Sometimes I lick my crotch for fun...don't know why, but it keeps me amused. Sometimes I'll mess stuff up just to piss off the humans. I love taking things and hiding them. Meow.
Apparently they bought me some new food tonight. I'll eat it to be polite, but sheesh, is it too hard to get FISH flavored? Do I really have to do this myself? I swear I'll go to the store and get some...just give me the keys to the crapmobile.
Heading down to the dark, cold basement to take a poo. I just love it there. No, really, it's great. I love bumping into shit and nearly knocking myself senseless.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Day 211
Dragged a paper bag upstairs from the kitchen. Meow. It was full of pop cans, but I didn't give a crap. It was a blast.
I've been sitting on top of the cupboards while the humans are at work. They reprimand me when they get home, but, eh, I don't give a damn. I'm going to keep doing it.
I got in a bit of trouble today. I was just playing around, but I scared the human female again and she put me downstairs. She let me out after ten minutes and then petted me. Ha. I have it good. Meow.
Food tastes like crap. If I could drive (long live Toonces), I would go to the store and get me some yummy stuff...possibly fish flavored.
For reasons beyond me, the humans like to pick me up and dance with me or put me on two legs, move me around and make funny noises like mew mew or dum dum dum. I have no clue why. It must be entertaining for them. I think it's pointless.
Off to take a nice big crap. Meow.
I've been sitting on top of the cupboards while the humans are at work. They reprimand me when they get home, but, eh, I don't give a damn. I'm going to keep doing it.
I got in a bit of trouble today. I was just playing around, but I scared the human female again and she put me downstairs. She let me out after ten minutes and then petted me. Ha. I have it good. Meow.
Food tastes like crap. If I could drive (long live Toonces), I would go to the store and get me some yummy stuff...possibly fish flavored.
For reasons beyond me, the humans like to pick me up and dance with me or put me on two legs, move me around and make funny noises like mew mew or dum dum dum. I have no clue why. It must be entertaining for them. I think it's pointless.
Off to take a nice big crap. Meow.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Day 210
Meow. Holy crap I'm tired. I slept 4 hours straight.
It was so peaceful today while the humans were at work. I really enjoy these moments. I have run of the whole place. No one petting me (they always pet me too hard), no one calling me names such as mew-mew, or pussy-wussy...I really hate those.
I ate a fly today. It's been bothering me for weeks now. I finally caught the little bastard buzzing around the garbage can. Damn near knocked myself out trying to get it.
I can't get my tail to stop flopping around. It's like it has a mind of it's own. It's especially annoying when I'm trying to crap and it flicks litter up in my face.
Ha. This one kills me. I tried attacking the human female's feet tonight and she flipped out. I love freaking her out like that. All I have to do is show some teeth and my eyes get all big and black. It really looks like I'm pissed off.
Time to go eat my crappy food. More later...
It was so peaceful today while the humans were at work. I really enjoy these moments. I have run of the whole place. No one petting me (they always pet me too hard), no one calling me names such as mew-mew, or pussy-wussy...I really hate those.
I ate a fly today. It's been bothering me for weeks now. I finally caught the little bastard buzzing around the garbage can. Damn near knocked myself out trying to get it.
I can't get my tail to stop flopping around. It's like it has a mind of it's own. It's especially annoying when I'm trying to crap and it flicks litter up in my face.
Ha. This one kills me. I tried attacking the human female's feet tonight and she flipped out. I love freaking her out like that. All I have to do is show some teeth and my eyes get all big and black. It really looks like I'm pissed off.
Time to go eat my crappy food. More later...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)